Punished for swearing

Swearing is something I am not allowed to do. Like all of my rules it has been discussed and mutually agreed to. I used to swear pretty frequently but after many a spanking and mouth soaping I am pleased to say I rarely do anymore; well that was until recently. For some reason profanity is edging its way back into my vocabulary much to my Sir's disapproval and to my bafflement. I really do not mean to do it, it slips out unbidden and unwanted. Every time I do it I am cringing and berating myself before I have finished the words. Sir tells me it is a lack of discipline and respect for her and our DD rules. It tends to happen when I am not with her which has lead to her saying that being her Girl is not a part-time thing, something that only stands when we are together. I am her Girl ALL the time. I agree. Wholeheartedly.

Mostly when I break rules, I am conscious of it, I pretty much make a choice to disobey, I know there will be consequences and choose to do it anyway. When this is the case I accept my punishment even when I really don't want to! I am in control in that I could have chosen not to misbehave. But this swearing thing! Gee whizz. I do not want to get spanked or anything else for something that I feel I can't help. On the other hand Sir declares that if we start to be complacent and she is inconsistent then  we will be on a slippery slope to damaging our DD relationship. I agree. So I will accept my punishments and I will be grateful for the continued commitment of my Sir to my well being and our loving DD life.

The point of this is not whether swearing is acceptable or not, no doubt many of you reading this will not see a problem with an adult using whatever words she chooses. The issues are obedience, consistency and submission. Obedience is hard, submission even harder but also I must acknowledge how hard it must be for my Top to be constantly vigilant and steadfast. How she remains firm in the face of my excuses, emotions, lack of submission and the distance that we still have to deal with 70% of the time.

DD works when Top and bottom appreciate what each must go through. It cannot work if the bottom expects the Top to administer a spanking how and when the bottom wishes even in the face of a lack of acceptance and submission. If you are looking for things to work exactly as in the stories folks I think you will be disappointed but if you are willing to enter a partnership and accept your role and responsibility and be an adult, then I can tell you it can work in the most wonderful ways that will surpass even the best fiction.

When I am being soundly thrashed this weekend with the foul taste of soap in my mouth I will keep this post in mind even as I protest and plead for it to stop!

The Escape. Part 2

Chapter 3

Amanda and Silver arrived back an hour or so later. The sun was setting on the horizon painting the sky a stunning mixture of orange, pink and grey. There was a slight breeze which carried the sounds of the sea and the last activity of the shore birds before dark. Amanda took a deep breath of the salt scented air before heading indoors.

She put a light under a pan of soup she had made earlier that day before giving Silver his supper. As Silver devoured his meal, Amanda gently stirred the soup. The aroma of chicken and vegetables drifted under her nose, her stomach made a gurgling noise in response, reminding Amanda that she hadn’t eaten since late morning. She cut a slice of fresh wholemeal bread from the local bakers and treated herself to a slather of butter. As she waited for the soup to heat through thoroughly she wondered about Sam and whether she had eaten. She didn’t normally worry about the eating habits of her guests but the woman did not look fit to cook for herself tonight.

Amanda made the decision to poke her nose in, just this once. She poured some of the soup into a flask, cut another slice of bread and made her way to Sam’s door.

Knocking softly on the door Amanda called ‘Hello? Sam? It’s Amanda from next door. I thought you might like some fresh soup.’

Receiving no answer she knocked again. She stood indecisively. Should she go in anyway? Would Sam be horrified at such an intrusion? Amanda chided herself for her indecision and opened the door as she continued to knock and call out. On entering the house she saw Sam on the sofa across the room, lying under the blanket she had left, very still and pale. For a horrible moment Amanda thought she was dealing with someone who was no more, until a gentle snore emanated from the recumbent woman. Amanda smiled at the noise and walked a little further into the room. She put the flask and the bread on the kitchen table. The open plan room was getting quite dark and was not very warm.  She turned towards Sam and took her time looking at the stranger in her guest house.  Blonde, short hair ruffled and in need of a wash. Smooth, pale skin, slightly puffy cheeks, not as tall as Amanda’s 5 feet 10 but not too much shorter, she had had to bend her knees to lie comfortably on the sofa. Her hands were placed on top of the blanket, long sleek fingers, no rings. She was not traditionally beautiful but Amanda thought that she was attractive, or rather that she would be with some colour in her cheeks.

Amanda quietly went over to the wood burner which she had already laid for the arrival of the next guest. She struck a match and watched the kindling catch and the flames lick upwards. Satisfied that she had done all she could and maybe should for Sam she left the house, closing the door quietly behind her.

When Sam awoke it was very dark, or it would have been had it not been for the flickering orange light from the now dying fire in the wood burner. The room was pleasantly warm and Sam lifted off the blanket and sat up. She noticed her stiff joints and stretched, yawning. Her mouth felt like a desert but surprisingly her head was clear. She walked over to the kitchen and fumbled along the wall for a light switch. Finding it she flicked it and the small space was brightly lit. It was spotlessly clean. It contained a small cooker, microwave, a deep Belfast sink and dark oak cabinets. Sam looked into a couple of the cupboards until she located a glass. She ran the tap and filled the glass with cold water and drank greedily before filling it for a second time. She took a moment to take in her surroundings. The stone tiled floor with tasteful rugs, the wood burner, small coffee table and small dining table, several lamps placed around the room. The cream sofa that she already knew was comfortable! A bookcase holding a number of paperbacks that Sam knew she would investigate later. She had a secret passion to trawl through other people’s book collections believing it gave a quick insight into the character of those who owned them. The overall effect was one of comfort. She wandered over to the wood burner and added a couple of logs which had been placed in a basket next to it.

Standing with her back to the fire to absorb the heat, Sam noticed the flask on the table for the first time. Opening it steam rose along with the delicious aroma of chicken. There was a slice of bread wrapped in cloth next to the flask. Realising that Amanda must have come in and left this and lit the fire for her, Sam blushed thinking of how she must have looked flat out on the sofa. The smell of the soup interrupted her thoughts. She had not eaten since early that morning and her body was now demanding some sustenance. She found a bowl and spoon in the kitchen area, sat at the table and began to eat.

The next morning Amanda was on her way to her van with Silver at her heels, to drive into college and her day’s work, when the door to the annexe opened and Sam emerged dressed in clean jeans and a sky blue T-shirt, her hair was wet from a recent shower. She smiled shyly at Amanda. ‘Good morning, I just wanted to apologise again for my rather dramatic arrival yesterday and thank you for the soup, it was very welcome.’ Amanda smiled at her guest and returned the greeting ‘Hi. You look a lot better. You are welcome. How are you doing?’   

‘Oh I am fine. I can’t imagine what was wrong. I was tired but I am not usually so easily felled!’ Sam tried to joke but Amanda saw that the smile did not quite reach her eyes. As they were speaking, Silver had wandered over to Sam and was nosing at her hand.

‘Silver, come here, manners boy!’ Amanda scolded him. ‘Sorry, he likes to know who his neighbours are’ Sam did not reply but gave Silver an uncertain look. She pulled her hand from his reach and folded her arms protectively around herself.

‘Oh he’s fine,’ Sam said unconvincingly

Amanda sensed her nervousness, ‘Not a dog person?’ she asked lightly.

‘Well…. I used to have a cat. I’m just not used to dogs I guess.’

‘Silver here is a big softy but he usually doesn’t bother with people much, he is permanently glued to my side. I even take him to work. Luckily the powers that be there are laid back enough to allow him to sit in my classroom.’ Amanda tried to reassure Sam that Silver would not be intruding on her person every minute.

‘You teach? Oh I thought the tourist centre said you were an artist.’ Sam asked curiously.

‘Oh, I am but I need to pay the bills and selling my work doesn’t always do that, so...the teaching gig. Actually I really like it. I have a good bunch of kids and we have fun learning together. The only part that I hate is the inevitable paperwork but every job has its downside I suppose.’ Sam suddenly looked down at her feet and seemed to shrink a little.

‘Well have a good day’ she muttered as she turned to go back indoors.

‘Thanks, you too. If you need anything just shout.’ Amanda said wondering what nerve she had struck. As Sam waved and went indoors shutting the door after her. Amanda opened her van door, Silver jumped in and she followed. As she pulled out from the drive and onto the narrow lane she was replaying her meeting with Sam. She had seen this woman for less than 15 minutes in total and yet she had to confess to herself that she couldn’t get her out of her thoughts. ‘No Amanda. No. You do not need to be thinking about this woman.’ She admonished herself but she argued back ‘I am just concerned. I am being a good host. It’s just business. Yep, it is just business…’

Chapter 4

Sam had steeled herself to speak to Amanda when she saw her outside. Having just showered and dressed she had told herself that she needed to apologise and thank Amanda but she was glad to see her outside and not to have to go and knock on her door.  She had taken a deep breath and gone out to speak to her. All had gone well until Amanda had spoken about work, then Sam had just felt the tightening in her chest again and had wanted to run. Thinking about it now, she had even enjoyed the chat until then. She had almost forgotten the nervousness she felt and the discomfort of speaking to a stranger. Back inside, the now familiar panic and anxiety had her gripped. She sat on the sofa and tried to calm herself.  After twenty minutes or so she started to feel a little calmer but exhausted. She could not understand this constant tiredness but then she couldn’t understand much of what she was feeling recently. She decided that she needed fresh air. Didn’t everyone say that exercise was good for anxiety? Not that she believed anxiety was really a problem for her, it was just  that she needed a holiday, she told herself.

Putting on her trainers and grabbing a jacket Sam went outside and quickly spotted the path which went off to the left along the cliff top. She began to follow it. Down below, the sea was crashing against the reddish, brown rocks. The air was cool and moist but not too cold. Breathing the clean, fresh air and taking in the beauty of her surroundings Sam began to feel calm and invigorated. She strode along the path relishing the isolation. Apart from sea birds she appeared to be alone. She set herself a brisk pace but regularly stopped to drink in the view. She began to get a little breathless and realised just how unfit she was, she couldn’t remember the last time she had worked out or done any physical activity other than walking through the office.  As she continued along the path she saw a beach come into view below her. It was completely empty apart from birds and waves washing the sand. It looked so inviting; Sam could almost feel the sand between her toes. She continued along the path until she found a steep, narrow track branching off down the cliff face towards the beach. Sam looked at the track warily, it was very steep and hardly an ‘official’ path. The track had obviously been made by the footfall of others who had wanted to venture onto the sand. She was pretty sure she shouldn’t attempt the descent but then again the empty beach was hard to resist.

Sam began walking timidly down the path. She knew pretty quickly that this was not the cleverest thing she had ever done. Her training shoes were not ideal footwear for the gravel and mud track. Her foot kept slipping forward and she had to steady herself by putting out her arms and holding onto tufts of grass. Despite this she managed to get most of the way down when both of her feet slipped out from under her. She cried out as she fell on her bottom and slid the rest of the way down to the rocks below. She landed hard on her right foot and felt a sharp pain radiating from her ankle up her lower leg.

Once the gravel had finished sliding past her and all was quiet, Sam tested her body to see what hurt. Both of her hands were stinging; she noticed grazes on both and tried to clean off some of the mud and grit by wiping them on her jeans. She tried standing and was relieved to find that she could put her weight on both of her feet so she figured nothing was broken. However, when she tried to walk, her right ankle protested with sharp waves of pain.  ‘Bloody hell!’ Sam shouted at herself, the wind carrying her profanity along the empty sands. She took a few more steps, wincing as she went. Looking around her she knew she wouldn’t be able to make it back up the cliff path. She looked along the beach and couldn’t see another path. Suddenly the isolation that she had been enjoying now seemed ominous. How the hell was she going to get back? Telling herself that she was an executive, a trouble shooter, a team leader, this should not be that difficult for her to figure out. Who was she kidding? She only had survival skills when she had a laptop and a mobile phone! She shouted out into the wind once more, filling her lungs and yelling for all she was worth. Anyone passing would not have been able to make out any words but would have heard a primitive scream of a woman who had had enough of the world, enough of herself, just enough, enough.

She plonked herself down on the sand and stared out to sea. The blue green water and the white foamy waves, the horizon that seemed to go on and on. She could not take her eyes from the view and for a few moments she considered how it would feel to walk into the water, just as she was now and to keep walking until she disappeared, until there was silence. As she thought this a strange peace settled over her.

She sat with her legs pulled up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She closed her eyes and listened to the rhythmic sound of the waves. She had been in pain for a long time, she admitted to herself. When had she last been happy? She honestly could not remember. There were times she had felt satisfied with the work she had done, pleased for the praise and promotion she had earned, but happy? No, not for a very long time. She could not remember a time when she wasn’t longing for something, searching for some elusive ‘thing’ that she could not name or visualise. The events of the past few years had compounded that feeling. Her father’s illness and death, so quick, so unfair, standing by his graveside feeling lost and unreal. He had always been there for her, always been her support and guidance. Her long term relationship with Patricia, ripped apart by the discovery of Pat’s infidelity, so soon after her father’s death, destroying what little sense of solid ground she had left. At the office she was in control, confident, sure and dynamic. Others looked to her for direction and she provided it; occasionally with a force that was intimidating. Sam felt a tear on her cheek as she thought of the ‘professional’ her. No-one would have guessed the emptiness she felt as she strode through the office, her well-tailored clothes providing a shield as effective as a suit of armour. But the armour was failing her, the last day in the office showed that, she could not continue the pretence of being that person. She was tired, so tired.  She thought once again of the oblivion that awaited in those dark, crashing waves.

She wiped her eyes noticing that she had begun to feel a little cold, the damp sand soaking the seat of her jeans. She also noticed that the sea was a little closer than it had been. She realised somewhat belatedly that the tide was coming in.  The reality of being swallowed by the waves was not as comforting as her dark thoughts. She felt very foolish and a little scared. How was she going to get off the beach? She began to hobble her way along the foot of the cliffs hoping to find a path to lead her home again. Each step she took was painful but the fear of being trapped on the beach with a rising tide was more urgent so she tried her best to ignore it. She shouldn’t have come down onto a beach without checking tide times or without letting someone know where she was going.

She had managed to make her way along the length of the beach but had yet to find a way off. She came to a rocky outcrop; the waves were already lapping at its edge. The only way around it was to paddle into the water. She considered taking off her shoes but she was beginning to panic and so waded in with her trainers and jeans in place and sloshed around the rock. As she made her way around the jagged rock, another beach came into view and to her relief a set of wooden steps were built into the cliff side. She laughed out loud and squelched towards the stairs. Now that the sense of danger had passed Sam was thoroughly embarrassed. What an idiot! Then a realisation hit her like a slap. I don’t want to disappear, I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live like this anymore. Now, she needed to find the steps which would lead her out of her current misery and to a new life.

Chapter 5

It took Sam two hours to limp back to the house, tired, sore, dirty and wet. She had just arrived back when Amanda pulled up in her van. Sam groaned, she hadn’t wanted anyone to see her in this state. Amanda jumped out of the van a look of concern on her face; she was closely followed by Silver.

‘Sam! What happened?! Are you OK?’ Amanda rushed over to her absorbing the sight of this dishevelled looking urchin in front of her. Sam looked wet and cold, not to mention covered in mud. She was also limping quite badly.

‘Oh it’s nothing, just a little fall, I slipped it was really silly of me.’ Sam explained, leaving out all of the detail which would have told Amanda just how silly she had been. ‘My trainers slipped on the gravel, I need to get some shoes with a better grip.’ She tried to make light of it but could not help but grimace because of the pain from her foot.

‘Let me help you.’ Amanda moved to her side and put her arm around Sam’s waist ‘Lean on me. Come into my house I have bandages and what not’ Sam thought about declining the offer, not wanting to have to have a conversation or admit how the accident had happened to this attractive, confident woman. ‘Attractive? When did I start thinking of her like that?’ Sam surprised herself. She felt Amanda’s strong arm around her and inhaled her fragrance of soap, shampoo and oil paint. She had no strength left to argue so she allowed herself to lean on Amanda and be lead into her home.

They entered Amanda’s kitchen. It was cosy, the Aga throwing out a significant amount of heat. A large scrubbed pine table sat in the middle of the room and it was here that Amanda pulled out a chair and guided Sam into it.  She then knelt in front of her and began pulling off her sodden trainers, carefully. Even so, Sam groaned out loud as she removed the right shoe.

‘Really, you don’t have to do this, I will be fine.’ Sam began. As she spoke Amanda removed her wet sock and gasped. Her foot was swollen to twice its normal size and already it was black and blue.

‘Uh huh, yep you look fine.’ Amanda replied. ‘I really think you may have to see a doctor, this looks pretty bad. I think we should put something cold on it to help with the swelling.’ She began rooting in her freezer to find something suitable. She emerged with a bag of frozen peas. ‘Here we go, peas, just what we need,’ she smiled at Sam and knelt back down to press the ice cold pack on her injury.  

The initial cold made Sam mutter under her breath ‘shit’ but very quickly the cold provided some relief. She watched Amanda’s paint stained hands holding the vegetable pack. They were tanned, strong hands, with nails which were cut short but well-manicured. Sam decided she liked them. She moved on to Amanda’s thick dark curls which were also cut short and framed her square jaw and deep, brown eyes perfectly. ‘Attractive alright’ Sam thought ‘In fact you are quite a stunner,’ She realised that Amanda was looking up at her, a questioning look on her face. ‘Sorry, er,  did you say something?’ Sam stammered. Amanda raised an eyebrow and looked amused ‘I asked if it hurt anywhere else’

‘Oh God a perfect smile too!’ Sam inwardly groaned. Out loud she said ‘No, not really, just a few bumps’ she turned her palms upward and Amanda quickly took in the deep graze and scratches.

‘Wow, you really had a fall didn’t you? Just hold the peas while I go and get something to clean that wound with.’

‘I’m really OK. I should leave you to get on with your evening. I’ll go and take a shower and I will be fine.’ Sam tried to protest.

Amanda now looked at Sam somewhat incredulously. ‘You are not going anywhere on that ankle. Just sit still and wait for me. Back in a second.’ Her tone did not leave much room for argument. Sam was torn between allowing this woman to take care of her and being indignant at being told what to do. She was the one used to giving the orders and being in charge, no-one questioned her, even Pat had always looked to Sam to make most of the decisions that affected their daily lives. She wasn’t quite sure how to react to this dominant personality but she noticed that Amanda’s tone gave her a strange feeling in the pit of her tummy. The pain in her foot made the decision for her, she really couldn’t conceive of walking any further, so she did as she was told and sat and waited for Amanda to return.

Coming back into the kitchen Amanda carried some cotton wool, disinfectant, plasters and a bandage. She filled a bowl full of hot water and brought it to the table. Then she began to attend to Sam’s hands.

‘So you did all this just slipping on gravel on the path?’ Amanda asked.

‘Uh huh, yes’ Sam did not elaborate.

‘Hmm. I hadn’t realised there was that much water on the path to get so wet?’ It was a direct question and Sam tried to think of an answer which wouldn’t make her seem as irresponsible as she had been. Why did she care so much what this woman thought?

‘Well actually, it was the side path down to the beach that I slipped on. I fell down onto the rocks below and then saw the tide was coming in and realised I couldn’t get back up the rocks and so I had to walk along the beach but it got cut off by the waves so I had to paddle through the sea to get around the other side. But then everything was OK as there were steps to get off the beach.’ Sam blurted out whilst trying to look as dignified as possible.

Amanda paused her work on Sam’s hand and fixed her with a glare ‘You went down to the beach via that ridiculously steep and dangerous path? Then got caught by the tide?’ Sam felt like a child being questioned by the headmistress. She wanted to tell Amanda off, tell her it was none of her business. She straightened herself in her seat and tried to muster some authority in her voice. ‘Well, when you put it like that it does sound a little silly but all’s well that ends well. I should really go back next door.’ Sam began to try and raise herself from her seat. The peas which had been resting on her foot, fell to the floor as Sam tried to stand, faltering when the pain hit again. Amanda caught her by the elbow and helped her lower herself back into the chair. As her bottom touched the wood Sam winced realising that she must have also bruised her behind as she fell on it. ‘Ouch, that hurts’ Sam muttered as she tried to rub it. Amanda thought ‘Well that seems appropriate, I’d say she deserves a sore bottom after her silly behaviour today.’ Out loud though she made a vaguely sympathetic noise. Taking a breath she patiently said ‘I know you are a stranger here, I should maybe have warned you about being wary of tides. It is so easy to get cut off in some places, all doesn’t always end well unfortunately. We have had our fair share of tragedy along the coast, I’d prefer it if you weren’t added to that number.’ She smiled at Sam, her muddy, wet clothes and dirt smeared face actually made her look quite adorable. Amanda’s internal voice shouted ‘Oh, no you don’t Amanda Jane Naughton. No falling for the visitor from Up Country!’

Spanking as therapy?

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